A Stark Apology
by Shae07
Summary: A Lexi Wilson Story set one year after the story Eyes Closed. Three years ago today everyone they loved disappeared. Moving on is easier said than done.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Takes place one year after Eyes Closed, which puts it three years after the snap. Currently a WIP hopefully have it finished up by the weekend, will update it once it's completed. Reviews are always welcome.**_

The elevator comes to stop and the doors slowly open, revealing a man with the literal weight of the world on his shoulders and he takes a deep breath before he steps into the hallway. He really tried tonight, to help the others in his group, but today marks three years since half of his friends turned into ash, and even though he kept saying it to everyone else, it wasn't getting any easier. It was days like this he envied normal people, he would give anything to be able to grab a bottle of whiskey and numb the pain, but thanks to his enhanced metabolism, that was useless. He slides his key into his lock before open the door to his tiny apartment.

The sweet and spicy smell of kung pao chicken hits him as he pushes his door open and he realizes there's someone here. His only thought is Natasha, but she never shows up, she spends all of her time at the compound, he often takes his laundry there as an excuse to spend some time with her. She'd called him this morning just for a brief chat, neither one of them brought up what today was, but it was understood.

He closes his door behind him warily as someone steps out from the small kitchen area, a dishtowel in her hands and a half-smile on her face.

"Hi," she states quietly.

"Hi," he says in confusion, dropping his keys on the table before he shrugs out of his jacket.

Steve Rogers has always considered himself a decent guy, he respects women, and he's never exactly been the type for one-night stands, then Lexi Wilson happened. It's been a year since that night, she was gone when he woke up the next morning, and he hasn't seen her since, not that he hasn't tried. Unfortunately for him, she didn't want to be found. They were barely friends before the snap, she was not only Stark's protégé, but had been in a relationship with someone else when they'd met. She was stubborn, snarky, and would challenge his authority every chance she got. Add to that, she was the only female to ever make James Barnes blush, which in itself was a feat. He remembered Tony calling her _difficult_ once and if that word didn't describe her, none of them did.

"I tried to call you," he says, hanging his jacket over the small hook on the back of the door.

"I know," she nods, looking at her sneakers.

"More than once," Steve continues, folding his arms across his chest.

"I know."

"I didn't want you to think…" he begins, "I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who ran," Lexi glances back up as she interrupts him, "you don't have to be sorry."

He gives her a soft smile, "So, is this you saying sorry?"

She waves her hand at the Chinese food on the coffee table in the small living area, "An apology and a meal."

"Took you a year to say you're sorry," he quips as he moves toward the food, "that's very Tony of you."

She smiles, "My Tony side is the only reason you like me."

"That's not true," the man replies as he sits down in his chair, picking up a container of kung pao chicken.

"You're not fan of my other side," she says, using her powers to move chopsticks from the table over to him midair.

Steve narrows his eyes at her as he takes them, "I never said that."

Lexi walks over to sit in the floor beside the coffee table, folding her legs under her as she grabs a container of lo mein and states, "You didn't like for me to train using my powers."

"I didn't like for you to rely _only _on your powers," he clarifies, "but that was before I knew what you were capable of without powers."

"Well," she smirks, "I showed you."

"No," he begins to laugh, "You showed Buck."

They both laugh for a moment before it subsides into a quiet sadness over the memory of the aforementioned man who's no longer with them.

The two of them eat in silence for a little while before Steve speaks up, "Does Tony know you're in town?"

"I saw him this morning," she glances over at him with a soft smile, "he's good."

"I'm happy for him," he replies genuinely.

Once they finish, Lexi tosses the empty containers in the trash before she grabs her jacket and slips it on. Steve does a double take as he places the leftovers in the refrigerator, surprise on his face at her actions.

"Are you leaving?" He questions as she walks towards him.

"No," she smiles, reaching past him inside the refrigerator, retrieving a six-pack, "meet me on the fire escape?"

He raises an eyebrow as a thought crosses his mind, "I have a better idea."

She watches him curiously as he walks by and grabs his coat from the door, slipping it on casually. Lexi follows him, picking up the blue plaid blanket off the back of the couch as she passes by it.


	2. Chapter 2

Once on the roof, Lexi places the six-pack on the wooden bench beside her as she sits down, offering one to Steve, but he gives her a shake of his head as he walks across the to edge of the roof. She twists the top of one for her and takes a sip as she looks up at the night sky, seeing the multitude of stars above her.

"Wow," she says in awe, "I thought you couldn't see the stars from here."

"You can now," Steve replies as if he's trying to look on the bright side.

It's then that Lexi realizes just how eerily quiet it is, if she didn't know any better, she would think they were the only two people in Brooklyn. If you would have told her five years ago that half the population would vanish, never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined _this_, but this was life now, whether she liked it or not. The time she and Dean had finally spent together, would never be enough, but there's a small part of her that's him, and that flame won't ever stop burning. She had thought she'd lost it all when she lost him and Sam, but she was beginning to be convinced the Gods took joy in testing the phrase _how many times can a broken thing break_ on her, because then Thanos happened. Her family was gone; Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex, Rowena, Mary, Jack, Bobby, and Charlie (again). Her friends were gone; Ketch, Vee, Loki. Then there was Evan…

She wipes the tears from her cheek as she feels the bench give a little under Steve's weight as he sits down beside her.

"Want to talk about it?" He questions quietly upon seeing the tears.

Lexi takes a sip from the bottle in her hand before she adjusts the blanket in her lap as she begins, "I had a friend named Evan, he was like me…a witch and he was…too good for someone of my…well, you've met me."

She sees the disapproving look the man gives her and she takes another sip of her beer before she continues, "He took the brunt of my anger in strides with long nights of endless crying and he never once faltered, never once got agitated with my roller coaster of emotions…I mean, I _hated _myself for how I felt and I never understood how he could stand to be around me, to support me through it. I was at his apartment that day, I had stopped by there to drop off some books he'd asked to borrow on Rugarus. I happened to glance at his TV and saw a familiar movie on and it just hit me like a ton of bricks."

_She saw Bruce Willis' face and she couldn't control the emotions which overcame her as flashbacks of the many times she and Dean had watched the Die Hard films flooded her mind. Lexi covered her face with both her hands as Evan realized what was happening and he quickly grabbed the remote to cut the TV off as he gently grabbed her by both her shoulders. _

"_Hey," he said soothingly, "I'm sorry, are you okay?"_

_She swallowed the lump in her throat as she wiped away the tears, "No, I'm sorry, I'm a mess."_

"_You're grieving," Evan replied, "you're supposed to be a mess, it's okay."_

_Lexi flicked her eyes up at him, a sad smile on her lips, "Look at Peter, still taking care of Wendy, even after all this time."_

"_Of course," he replied softly, as he pulled her into a hug, "I'll always be here for…"_

_His voice trailed off and Lexi no longer felt his arms around her or his body against hers. She opened her eyes and saw nothing but small dust particles floating in front of her._

"Just like that…he was gone too," Lexi turns the beer bottle the rest of the way up after she finishes the story.

"That's…" Steve can't find words to comfort her, he knows there's no comfort in what she feels, "tough."

"Yep," she replies, then looks over at him, "so when _you _show up, wanting me to _talk _about my feelings…"

"Nat was worried," he adds once she trails off, "Clint's off the rails and she knew you weren't far behind him."

"Well," she looks down beside her, replacing the empty bottle into the cardboard sleeve as she grabs a full one, "we have to feel something…something other than this."

"I know it's hard, but," he begins carefully, not believing the words himself, "you have to move on."

Lexi huffs as she stands up shaking her head and she flings the blanket at him, "Don't give me that counselor bull shit Rogers, you don't what I'm feeling."

Lighting cracks across the night sky as thunder rumbles low in the distance, neither one of them seem to be phased by this.

He clenches his jaw at her words before he responds calmly, "I know what it's like to lose the love of your life, to feel as if you were robbed of time with that person, so yea, I think I know some of what you're feeling."

He holds her gaze and she can see the pain there, so very similar to her own, and she waits a moment before she speaks.

"And have you moved on?" Her words are straight-forward as she continues to hold his gaze, awaiting a response which he doesn't give, so she continues, "Exactly."

The sky illuminates again as lighting spiderwebs through the darkness above them and the clash of thunder roars louder this time. The sudden onslaught on giant raindrops interrupts them and Lexi throws both of her arms over her head as Steve uses the blanket for cover and snatches the six pack from the bench. He manages to shield Lexi with part of the blanket as they rush for the elevator.


	3. Chapter 3

As they make their way back inside the tiny apartment, Lexi places the six-pack on the coffee table before she tugs her jacket off. Rogers drapes the blanket over his desk chair then begins to shrug out of his coat. Something falls from one of his pockets and bounces across the hardwood floor, stopping close to where Lexi stands, and she squats to pick it up.

"What's thi…" she begins as the man reaches for it while Lexi flips open the small antique looking compass.

The black and white photo tucked delicately into the compass stares up at her and her face softens as she smiles without looking away from the photo.

"So, this is her?" She questions as the man hangs his jacket up.

"Yea."

"She's beautiful," Wilson replies before closing it and offering it back to him, "and you carry it all the time?"

He nods his head as he opens it to take a quick look at the photo himself, and Lexi sees the flash of sadness darken his blue eyes before he closes it and shoves the compass in his pants pocket.

"Want to talk about her?" She questions him carefully.

"Right now," Rogers begins, offering a fake smile, "I want a dry shirt, how about you?"

"I should probably go," Lexi reaches up and rubs the back of her neck hesitantly.

"You could stay," he says, as he starts towards his room, the idea of not being alone with his thoughts tonight appeals to him.

Lexi tugs at the wet material of her black shirt as she shakes her head. She takes a deep breath as her eyes flick toward the bedroom door where she can see him peeling his wet Henley off over his head, and she raises an eyebrow in interest as she takes in his chiseled physique. The sudden regret of not paying more attention during their last encounter crosses her mind and for a moment, Lexi feels a small spark of her old self, _what are you doing here Wilson?_

"I don't think that would be a good idea _Captain,"_ she states as he pulls a fresh shirt over his head.

"I'm not your Captain anymore," Rogers says as exits the room, handing her a dark blue t-shirt, "I'm pretty sure I never was, the bathroom is through there."

He points over his shoulder toward the bedroom and Lexi thinks to herself, _of course it is._

"Well," she begins as she walks over to the door and grabs a small shoulder bag from beside the table, "if you insist."

Steve rolls his eyes as she saunters towards the bedroom and he moves to place the remaining beer back in the refrigerator.

While in the bathroom, Lexi washes her face and pulls her hair back into a ponytail. She kicks off her wet sneakers and replaces her wet jeans with some soft grey linen pajama pants from her bag and her shirt with the oversized navy t-shirt Steve had handed her with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on the left arm sleeve. Her clothes aren't wet enough to warrant leaving them out to dry, so she rolls them up and shoves them back in her backpack, before grabbing her shoes and bag in one hand as she exits the bathroom.

Lexi drops her things by the door and notices Steve sitting in the chair on his laptop, he's changed into black athletic pants while she was gone which is a contrast to the light grey t-shirt he's wearing. She hears him let out an angry huff of frustration before he tosses the laptop onto the coffee table.

"Problem?" She questions as she approaches the living space.

"Damn thing isn't working right," he states, "I've tried everything Nat suggested and…I give up."

"May I?" Lexi reaches for it and Steve gives her a nod of his head.

Wilson lowers herself to the floor to sit in front of the coffee table and turns the laptop to face her as she begins to work on source of the problem. She doesn't see Steve reach for the pencil and notebook on the table beside his chair, she's too caught up in her current task. Between Charlie and Sam, she'd learned quite a few tricks over the years when it came to computer diagnostics and she was snuffing out the problem after about twenty minutes. While she waits for the system to reboot it occurs to her the man sitting across from her hasn't said anything since she began working on the computer. She glances over in his direction and at first she thinks he's writing in the notebook he has in one hand by the way he's concentrating on it, but as she watches the pencil glide across the page it becomes apparent he's shading and she realizes he must be sketching something. His eyes flick up to hers at that moment and he knows he's been caught so he gives her a small boyish grin.

"What are you doing?" She questions him.

He lays the pencil flush against the page and closes the notebook, placing it back on the table, "Did you get it working?"

"Yep," she remarks, noting he changed the subject, as she stands up and carries the laptop over to him.

She sits down on the arm of the oversized chair, making sure the notebook is on her left side, and she hands him the laptop as she continues, "Next time, go here…run this…delete anything over here…"

As she vaguely instructs him with her right hand on the keyboard, her left hand slips the notebook from the table. She quickly flips the notebook open before he can stop her and catches the pencil before it can fall to the floor. There on the page is pencil sketch of her, she's leaning against the bar in the compound and she recognizes the dress instantly as the one she was wearing the night of Rogers' birthday party, but in her hand instead of a drink, she holds an open book with the words _Spells & Potions _written on the spine. The smile she wears is sweet and innocent and she has one eyebrow raised mischievously.

"I was trying to get the eyes right," Steve says quietly.

"You got the nose wrong," she replies, and he glances up at her in confusion, so she continues with a smirk, "you know, witches have large hook-like noses with a giant wart or two."

He allows a laugh to escape at her joke as she flips back a page and sees a drawing he has of Tony in the lab, then the next page is just a portrait of Wanda and Vision side by side. She continues through the journal finding sketches of every member of Rogers' team. Several of the faces cause an ache in her chest and she turns to him with a small, sad smile.

"These are really great," she says quietly as she closes the notebook and pats the leather cover gently before handing it to him.

Steve watches as she takes a deep breath, then smirks to herself before she stands up and walks toward the door. He scrambles to stand, placing the laptop and the notebook on the coffee table as she starts to slip on her shoes.

"Well, this _was _fun," she remarks more to herself.

"Come on," Rogers states, "don't go."

"I have to," Lexi replies as she finishes slipping her other shoe on then walks back across to where her jacket is laying, "Last time was…."

He waits for her say the words as she slips her coat on, but she doesn't so he speaks, "What? A mistake?"

She holds her head high, staring at him intently as he folds his arms across his chest and she phrases her words carefully, "Rogers, I used you...imagining you as _him…_and I shouldn't have…I see that now. You really are a boy scout and I'm not signing up to wreck you."

Lexi tears her eyes away as she walks defiantly back to the door, reaching down for her backpack, but his words stop her, "That makes two of us."

She turns around to see he's moving closer as he continues, "We need to feel something, right?"

"Not like that," she shakes her head as he reaches for her hand.

"Agreed," he begins as his enormous hand envelopes her smaller one, "maybe we should leave our ghosts out of it this time."

She doesn't realize she's holding her breath as she stares down at their hands until he pulls her chin up carefully with his other hand. She flicks her dark eyes up to meet his baby blue ones, although she notes they're much darker now, _what color is that? Steely sapphire maybe._

Her thoughts are interrupted as he closes the distance between them and she feels the warmth of his breath on her cheek as she breathes his name, "Steve."

It was just his name, but she's never actually said it. She's only ever called himCaptain Rogers, Cap, Captain, or just Rogers. A small grin crosses his lips before he gently presses them to hers for a brief moment before pulling away slightly.

"That's a first," he whispers, "I've never heard you say my name before."

She runs her free hand across the top of his shoulder to rest at the base of his neck, gently scraping her nails against his skin. The rest of her inhibitions fall away, as the old, promiscuous Lexi comes out to play and a sly smile crosses her lips as she says, "Question is, can you make me say it again, _Captain?"_

Lexi feels him release her hand as he wraps that arm around her waist to lift her off the ground his lips turning up into a smirk as she wraps her legs around his tightly. He starts towards the bedroom as he remarks, "I knew you were trouble."

She runs her hand up the back of his neck and into his hair, tugging his head back with the fistful of hair she's gently grabbed and his jaw twitches at her action. Wilson gives him a half-smile as she says playfully, "That's why you like me."

She kisses him again, harder this time and uses her powers to fling the bedroom door shut once they're inside. They spend the rest of the night exploring each other, this time with their eyes open.

The next morning Steve rolls over to find his bed empty and even though part of him isn't surprised, there's a small part of him that is. He slowly sits up as he rubs a hand across the back of his neck. Suddenly his bathroom door opens, and Lexi leans against the doorframe with her toothbrush hanging from her mouth. She's back in his t-shirt with her grey pajama pants and she gives him a small smile.

"Morning," she says, pulling the toothbrush out of her mouth.

"Morning," he grins at her.

"You know," Wilson begins, pointing her toothbrush at him, "if you started including what you did last night as like an add-on service for your grief counseling…for like VIP members of course, they'd have to pay up front…just think of the lives you could change."

Steve starts shaking his head as he laughs, "I think that's called prostitution."

"It's called profitable," she corrects him with a smirk, before turning back towards the bathroom sink.

He smiles to himself as he pulls his athletic pants back on and stands up from the bed, slipping his shirt back over his head.

"Does Tony want breakfast?" He calls over his shoulder to her as he opens the bedroom door.

"Of course," she replies with a smirk as she follows him out of the room, "I'm betting the boy scout makes a mean breakfast."

They had planted a seed of friendship years ago the night they'd met, but neither one of them had taken the time to tend to it. When it was given water, it was only ever just enough to quench the soil's thirst and keep it from dying completely. Surprisingly enough, allowing their friendship to grow brought a few smiles and some laughter back to both of them after three years. The little broken witch and the angsty boy scout, neither one of them can move on, but at least they're not alone.


End file.
